I'm Sure Emeril Never Has To Put Up With Kids Like Mine

Avery loves to help us cook, as you might have gathered if you watched the video I posted of her last month. She helps Matt make smoothies for breakfast every morning and loves to help crack the eggs when I make cake balls. That's why we were excited when she turned 3 and we could take her to cooking classes at Young Chef's Academy.

It took us a few months to get a class that worked into our schedule (what?! It's football season!). So when we found out that a Big Chef/Little Chef class was coming up in November, we signed right up. Lucky for us, our friend Alex and his wife Lisa are the owners of the Young Chef's Academy in Round Rock so we have the hook up on when classes are coming up.

Our first class was last Saturday and just as we suspected, Avery loved it. She was so excited the whole car ride there. She asked questions about what they would have at the class and what her teacher's name would be. She was very intent on picking out her own apron, which would be pink, of course. We really couldn't get to class fast enough for that child. It might have been the longest 15 minute car ride of her life (and mine).

We got to YCA just in time for class to start. Chef Lisa came out to the lobby to meet the kids and go over the rules. That's when I realized that we have "that child."

Oh, you know the one I am talking about. Poor Chef Lisa could hardly get a word out before Avery was talking over her asking questions. Chef Lisa talked about grabbing an apron and Avery shouted, "I want a pink one!" before she could even finish her sentence. When Chef Lisa informed her that she only had white ones, Avery tried to tell her about the pink polka dot apron she has at home.

(That's when I considered backing up a little hoping that maybe I could pretend to be the parent of one of the other kids that was sitting there quietly.)

Even though the class was for kids 3-5 years old, somehow Avery was the only one that was talking like crazy. The others were sitting there like sweet angels just listening intently to what Lisa had to say.

Once we had our hands washed and aprons on, Chef Lisa reviewed the menu with everyone. When she started describing how to shred carrots for the first recipe, Avery said "I want to do it! I want to do it! I want to shred. I like carrots!" It didn't matter that Lisa had already prefaced her statement with the information that everyone would get a chance to help shred carrots.

Maybe Avery didn't believe her. Maybe Avery was experiencing some form of short term memory loss that caused her to forget that Lisa had, just seconds earlier, told everyone that they would get a chance to participate. Maybe Avery has a hearing problem and has gotten along in life just by watching for context clues. It's possible that she has trust issues and simply didn't believe Lisa. I really don't know. All I can say is that Lisa is a better woman than I am because I was ready to strangle this child of mine.

Don't even think that she would let me help her because that was NOT happening. We might still be there shredding that same carrot today if Chef Lisa wasn't good at being tricky. She was able to get the carrot away from Avery by distracting her with the next cool thing, which happened to be a knife.

While Lisa was trying to explain how to cut the bread, Avery was busy saying, "I want to cut! I want the pink knife! I want to cut. Can I have the pink knife? Can I have the pink knife? That knife, right there in your hand. Can I have it?" I thought her head might actually explode. She could hardly keep her bottom on the chair when she was waiting for Lisa to give her a knife and a plate.

It was right then that I realized that Lisa was sent directly from Heaven because there is no way that I could deal with children like mine all day. Especially with knives so close within reach.

OH THANK GOODNESS she happened to get the pink knife and plate. Imagine! I wonder how Chef Lisa knew that Avery wanted it so bad...

After she rolled her hotdog in the bread that she cut and smashed, she patiently waited for her turn to brush butter on her bread. She was uncharacteristically calm when she was waiting and I was thinking that maybe she was over her initial excitement and was settling down back into her normal self. (oh please! oh please! oh please! let her just be excited and not really like this in real life. oh please! oh please! oh please!)

The pictures make her look much more innocent than she really is.

Chef Lisa showed her what the ingredients for the carrot soup looked like after they were finished cooking but before they got mixed to smithereens. Despite already knowing everything, Avery was very interested when Lisa would show her ingredients, tools, or food that looked different. She did seem to pay attention to Lisa when she wasn't getting ready for a new task.

But her patience was short lived when Lisa brought out a wisk that they would use to mix the honey mustard. Before she could even tell everyone what they would be doing Avery wanted to make it clear that SHE COULD STIR. SHE WANTED TO STIR. SHE COULD DO IT. I'm not even sure Lisa finished her instructions before she just handed it over. I mean, it wasn't like anyone else was learning anything with Avery boldly proclaiming to KNOW HOW TO DO IT ALL. (I started to think that this should be a drinking class and not just a cooking class.)

I don't think Lisa got the wisk out of her hands before Avery took over.

And then she stirred again when it came time to mix the yogurt into the carrot soup.

Sweet relief came when all the food was done and it was time to eat. Chef Lisa talked about the importance of trying something even if you think you don't like it because "your tongue might like it even if your eyes don't" which actually sunk in with Avery. She tried everything and even though she didn't like the soup or honey mustard, it was new for her to at least have a taste.

Later when Grammie asked her about class she repeated her newfound knowledge that trying new things is good because your tongue might like it. I was happy to hear that she learned something in class since she seemed to know it all while we were there.

Well of course she has to try the hot dog. It's all about trying something new...

*(slaps hand to head)*

I think it might have killed her to actually look at the camera for one picture.

All that is to say that I guess I am going to owe huge Christmas gifts to Avery's teachers because I had no idea what they had to put up with all day. This was our first experience in a class together since she was 2 years old in Gymboree. She obviously wasn't such a know-it-all then. Everyone knows that 3 year olds are much more worldly than 2 year olds.

Matt is going to take her to the next class so I will be interested to see if she behaves the same way with him as she did with me. Lisa was fantastic with all the kids. It has to be tough to have some totally quiet kids that you aren't really getting any reaction from and then have Little Miss Chatterbox that you can't seem to find the "off" switch to. She had such great control of the class and Avery really did have a great time.

She can't wait to go back to YCA for another class in two weeks. I hope Lisa is all stocked up on patience by then. :-)

Two Times the Fun

We go to a lot of great birthday parties that I always intend to blog about but then time passes and it just seems weird to post about a party we went to several months ago, so I just move on without writing about them. Fortunately for me, the birthday party that we went to on Halloween was for a set of twins that turn 1 today, which makes this post's timing PERFECT.

(pats self on back since procrastination has finally paid off)

My sorority sister, Liz, and her husband Pecos welcomed baby girl Ali and baby boy Stone on November 10th, 2008. They waited several years for their turn to be blessed with such gifts so we were thrilled when we got the news that they were expecting twins! What a double blessing.

And double work. Double the diapers. Double the sleep training. Double the feeding schedules. Double the teething and the laundry and the colds. Double the waking up in the middle of the night. Double the growth spurts. But most of all, double the love and happiness that those babies brought into their parents lives. Double the kisses and cuddles and first smiles. While I know it has been exhausting for Liz over the past year, I also know that she wouldn't want it any other way.

Their party was in San Antonio, about an hour and a half away, from 12-3 which is prime nap time in this house. Both huge strikes against going. Plus it was Halloween so we had tight timelines that we had to stick to in order to be home in time to get! candy! from! strangers!

But none of that mattered since there was no way that we were going to let nap schedules or long car rides keep us from being there for the twins' big day. We really wanted to help celebrate such a great first year for the whole family. The toughest year is over and now on to the big milestones in year two!

We knew it would be a nice party because Liz and Pecos have always been great hosts but they far exceeded our expectations for this one. To start, the decorations were fantastic. They didn't miss a detail for the Halloween inspired affair. I wasn't smart enough to remember to take pictures, of course, but trust me. Awesome.

There was an orange and black painted archway that you walked through to get into the party. Once in the backyard they had a huge blow-up slide with a ball pit at the bottom and a big bouncy house to play in. Perfect for both of my kids! Avery loved the bouncy house so much that she hardly stopped jumping, even when she landed wrong and jammed her finger. Jack was a fan of the ball pit and playing on the swings. They also had a big blanket laid out in the lawn with toys that were perfect for the 6-12 month crowd. They really did have something for everyone, which gave us the chance to visit with friends our own age while the kids played.

The food table was perfectly decorated and stocked for both kids and adults. They had Mickey Mouse shaped chicken nuggets, the cutest PB&J sandwiches, cream cheese dip made to look like a spider, oreos made to look like caterpillars, caramel apples with m&ms, pretzels and so much more. The drinks for kids were served in the cutest little plastic bottles that they got to take home and the treat bags were full of fun halloween candy and toys. The drinks for adults came out of a large silver keg. You just can't go wrong with that.

After the kids played and ate and played some more, Ali and Stone took off their costumes and got ready for some cake. It was clear that Stone was much more into it than Ali was. She pretty much gave us dirty looks the whole time (hey! I don't like it when people stare at me while I am eating, either) and didn't care too much for the cake. My kids were the exact same way the first time we gave them cake, so I could totally relate to her.

Stone seemed to think it was strange that we all gathered around them, sang the birthday song and then watched while he licked icing off the cake, but he didn't let that stop him from enjoying his special treat. It was fun to watch him discover how yummy cake and icing are.

Pretty soon after that Jack stuck his thumb in his mouth and laid his head down on Matt's shoulder so we knew it was time to head back to Austin. We sure had a great time celebrating such a special day with our friends. We just couldn't be happier for Liz and Pecos. They are such good parents and you can tell that those babies were definitely worth the wait.

Here are some pictures from the party.

Stone was looking at Pecos as if to ask

"Are you sure I can eat as much of this cake as I want to?"

Nom Nom Nom

Happy Guy with a face full of blue icing.

Ali wanted to enjoy her cake in peace.

I didn't want to make her mad so I just snuck in a few shots of her.

Like most girls, she wasn't a fan of getting her hands all dirty. But she did start to get into it after she realized how delicious cake is. Smart girl!

Ali and Stone playing in the ball pit. He was a monkey and she was a cat in a tutu. They were both very cute.

Jack also really enjoyed the ball pit. I had to take him out after he started indiscriminately throwing balls around. Safety first, kids. Safety first.

After 3 years of wanting nothing to do with bouncy houses, Avery is officially a fan. She hardly left the inflatable energy zapper the whole time we were there.

My dear friend, Amy, was in town from Denver for the week. It was wonderful to see her again after more than a year. I think the last time she was here I was still on maternity leave. It is crazy how time flies.

He isn't quite as light as when he was 2 months old. Let that be a lesson to you, Amy. Don't stay gone that long or you won't be able to lift him next time!

I don't remember this girl's name but her Aunt brought her to the party. She is one of Liz's neighbors, I believe. Anyway, she took a liking to Jack and it was so cute to see her holding his hand. Jack was slightly confused by it, but he went along for a few minutes. Girls have that kind of power over men, even at a young age.

Uh, kind of hard to deny that these two are father and son. Look at that facial expression that Matt is passing on to my sweet boy. I just want the girl that will eventually marry Jack to know that I had nothing to do with the looks that he gives. That is all thanks to Matt.

Jack put his thumb in his mouth as soon as we got into the car. I think he was asleep by the time we hit the interstate. We didn't get so lucky with Avery, but it didn't matter because the party was worth it. We all had a great time.

Happy 1st Birthday, Ali and Stone!

My Little Charmer

Such a happy guy in the car.

His new favorite thing to do is to ask us either, "What happened?" or "What are you doing?" (which actually only comes accross as "doing?" in the cutest little high pitched voice.) And he always makes his hands go like this in the picture when he asks.

Here's my little newsboy in his peacoat and hat.

I love his look in this picture. He is paying close attention to what is happening on Sesame Street rather than me taking pictures of him, but I like the result.

He is talking much more lately. It's a fun game to try and figure out what he is saying, but more and more of his words are crystal clear. It's been neat to experience this phase because Avery skipped it altogether. She went from single words to clear phrases and complete sentences in just about 3 months (from 15-18 months). Jack has his moments of gibberish where his face is completely serious and his gestures indicate that he is really trying to tell us something but his language is in some kind of Nordic dialect that I have never heard before. And then he will have moments where he tells us in no uncertain terms exactly what he wants. "Cookie!" "Open!" "Night Night!"

The other great thing he is doing now is nodding his head yes or shaking no when we ask him questions. It really has made life easier to be able to ask him clarifying questions. Plus, it is so cute when he emphatically nods his head in agreement.

When he wants us to follow him somewhere he gestures us forward with his hand and says "C'mon, mama!" which is very hard to resist.

We know what is looming, though. There is no avoiding that he'll be 2 in just about 4 months. It's out there...mocking us...laughing at how much harder it will be with a 2 year old that doesn't actually speak in coherent complete sentences. But for now, we are loving every minute of our sweet boy's new-found communication tricks.

Trick or Treat!

Last weekend was just a blur of busy. We had so much going on and I can't believe we were able to actually accomplish almost everything we planned. On Friday I baked cake balls for a birthday party order and delivered them at 9pm. Then on Saturday we took the kids to a birthday party for one of my college friend's twins. The party was in San Antonio at noon so we had to leave around 10:30 to get there in time. I will post more pictures of that party later next week. They did such a great job of making the party fun for all ages.

Then we rushed back to Austin to get the kids ready to trick-or-treat. After not really napping and eating way too much sugar, I was ready to give Avery to the first person to ring our doorbell. Luckily she got better as we got outside and saw her friends in costumes.

On Sunday we participated in the Race for the Cure with some of my friends from work. It was a great crowd and we were very happy to be a part of it again this year. After that we met some friends from college for lunch and before we knew it, the day was over (stupid time change).

Here are some pictures of trick-or-treating on Saturday.


Jack started off as a peacock but Matt just couldn't stand it and felt that it was too feminine so he made me change him back into his monkey costume. Obviously no one ever took the time to tell Matt that the male peacocks are the best looking ones. Sad, really.
Here's my little butterfly princess (according to Avery, it's the shoes that make her a princess as opposed to just a regular butterfly. duh). Her costume came from Shimmer Sister.
Jack was ready to get the show on the road so he couldn't understand why he had to pose for pictures when he had heard the rumor that people were just giving candy away for no reason at all.
Avery was pretty scared of Poppa in a clown costume and took some coaxing before she would warm up to him.
She finally reluctantly decided to approach this new, scary Poppa. And for the rest of the night, she kept asking if Poppa was going to take the paint off his face. Ah, the life of a parent of a 3 year old. The questions just never end....

Jack didn't have any problems running right up to Poppa, even in that crazy costume. He just can't get enough of his Poppa. He actually chooses him over me most days.

I love this look that Jack is giving Dad. It says..."I know that's you, Poppa, even if you are dressed up as a cast member of "Killer Klowns from Outer Space."

Avery kept an eye on him wherever she went. It was pretty funny to watch her keep her distance from him.

Jack raided the candy from Grammie's house and then was ready to head out and get more candy from total strangers.

Avery was terrified of this witch. Jack actually went up to her first. Avery didn't approach her until Jack was safely back in the wagon. So much for being a protective big sister.

Thank heavens we ran into Avery's BFF Kendel while we were out because she had been asking about Kendel all freaking night. Every time we talked about what we were going to do next she would add, "And then we are going to see Kendel..." and I wanted to just throw myself in front of an on-coming car.

Jack thought it was an "eat as you go" program. He didn't have anything in his bucket because he would eat it as soon as someone would hand him some candy.

WHEN ANIMALS ATTACK. It is just never pretty. (This is what happens when you give a toddler 3 pieces of candy. Be warned, friends. Be warned.)

Hard to keep the wild ones away from the candy bowls. Uncle Josh was not going to be the one to try and stop him.

Rona came out with her Cowgirl Sherif costume on and the kids loved it. Avery had all kinds of questions about the handcuffs. Jack just wondered if she had more candy to give him.

Thankfully, because the kids are still so young, we were able to get away with only going to 4 or 5 houses. I think they will catch on more next year and we'll end up going all over the neighborhood.

Uncle Josh totally hooked them up with candy, though, so there was no shortage in their bags. In fact, I took some heat from a friend of mine because I gave half of Avery and Jack's candy to Kendel's big sister who missed Halloween this year due to an illness. She called me a socialist who was forcing my liberal views on my child and unfairly giving away her candy.

I called it sharing.

Just remember kids, good always triumphs over evil. (ahem, I'm looking at you, Micha!)

Fun (tame) Times in the Alpha Phi House

Have I ever mentioned that my mom proposed to my dad? I won't embarrass her with the very unromantic details. My point is, it was the 1970s and she didn't wait around for him to ask her. She also kept her maiden name as her middle name. That was pretty progressive at the time.

She's never been a fan of stereotypical women's roles. When I wanted to be in the band in grade school (which is a different story: one that involves joining only because of the appeal of trips and camps even if I am not a "band" person, per se), she didn't want me playing the flute because that was too "girly." Instead, I played the drums.

I never wore hair bows and rarely wore dresses. She didn't ever really teach me how to put on make-up except for the few times she talked to me about not looking like a clown. Those just weren't things my mom was into. (Don't even get me started on her bad hair choices. She wasted her 30s with terrible hair. I should post pictures. After all, if women are equal to men, she should have to endure a "bad hair" post like my dad did.)

She was, however, interested in leading by example. She worked hard and climbed the ladder at the office, showing me that women can do whatever they want to do. She showed that women are equal in relationships by the way she and my dad interacted with each other. She talked to me about making my own money and not relying on a man to provide for me. And she has always been a champion of women's rights.

So it won't surprise you to learn that when I went to college and participated in sorority rush, she was devastated. She viewed sororities as places where women learned to become good wives. These were places, in her mind, where girls grew into "women who lunch" rather than women who run the world. And honestly, I don't blame her for thinking that way. Sororities don't do a great PR job a lot of the time. You only hear about the parties or the pledge semester rather than all of the great leadership opportunities they offer.

Her protests didn't sway me, though, and I pledged Alpha Phi. I threw myself into it and enjoyed (almost) every minute of it. I lived in the house and held chapter positions for 2 years (both formally and informally). Some of my closest friends are still those girls that I met in the A-Phi house. I learned a great deal about leadership, project management, socializing, and philanthropy because of my sorority. I owe some of my professional success to lessons learned in the greek system.

My wonderful experience as an Alpha Phi may have even changed my mom's mind a little about the role of sororities and their value in modern times.

And while all of those benefits I listed are terrific, the best part of being an Alpha Phi is that it doesn't end when you graduate. There are a lot of activities for alumnae long after your college days are over. And while I don't participate in most of them because of our busy schedules, I do love it when we get the chance to attend an event.

Earlier this week the women of Texas Alpha Phi hosted a Halloween Carnival for the children of local alumnae and we braved the bad weather to attend. It was fun to see the current actives in the house along with some of the girls from my time there. Here are a few pictures from the event.

This is my Lil Sis, Crystal, and her daughter Annabelle. Annabelle was the cutest little garden gnome.
Pictured above: Avery (eating a cupcake and completely unaware that we are even taking a picture) Leia and her daughter, Clara, me and Jack, Crystal and Annabelle, and Kcathy with her baby Micah and son Drew. Leia is a physical therapist with a post graduate degree from Duke, Crystal owns her own successful business as a Stylist (with some famous clients!) and Kcathy, a pledge sister of mine, is a nurse at Dell Children's Hospital. I don't see a "Lady who lunches" in that group! :-)

Avery and Clara were two cute butterflies!

Have you heard the one about the butterfly and a garden gnome that walk into a bar....oh wait....
Avery and Jack looking down to "the big room"from the second story balcony of the sorority house. Jack is a lucky guy...not many men make it that far into the house. :-)
I took this picture of Avery when I saw her going up the stairs and memories of me falling down the stairs came flooding back. I may have had a little too much to drink after my 21st birthday and there may have been some sort of trouble getting up those stairs to my room. But I can't say for sure. (*wink*)
How sweet is my little man? He was so cute as he intently watched his sister paint a pumpkin. I love how he rests his little chin on his hands.

Thanks for the great night, Phi girls! And thanks for all the wonderful memories.

I Should Archive This For Her Future Therapy Sessions

What's the point, exactly, of the photography classes that I have taken if this child refuses to cooperate for my pictures? I think the trick to being a good photographer is to not be related to the kid you are photographing.

That, or a lot of great Prozac.

I want you to know that one millisecond before I took this picture she was standing up and looking straight at the camera asking me to take her picture. But by the time I put my eye through the viewfinder she looked like this:

...and then she mocked me by laughing hysterically.
As if to say, "haha! All those nights that you have been away from us trying to figure out your fancy camera were for nothing!" or possibly, "Good try, Lady, but I will beat you with my blatant disregard for anything you have to say. Ever." or maybe even, "I think I will mess with your head and ask you to take my picture over and over but then refuse to actually stand still while you snap the photo."

And then she started dancing around so it was impossible to get a clean shot. Of course, she knows that. She has several tricks up her sleeve and she pulls them all out when the camera leaves the bag. The camera, by the way, that SHE asked me to get out.
Of course, this is the worst. She finally agrees to stand still (in a place with a terrible background) and then gives the world's cheesiest smile because SHE KNOWS that it will get under my skin.

But I am older and wiser. And I know what will get under her skin...

Hi Happy Boy! What a great smiler! Look at my big boy and his willingness to participate in my attempts to take pictures in order to document their childhood. No issues with the "second child not getting as many pictures as the first" in this family because he is very cooperative.
...Even if he doesn't know what to do with his hands when I tell him to stop trying to kill the bushes in the front yard. (The poor, poor bushes that we planted in the Spring and then nursed as best we could during the 106 degree summer we had this year. Wasn't that enough abuse for those poor plants? Why must they now endure the wrath of a 19 month old? They are still alive, though! Check out my mad horticulture skills!)

(Except that I haven't cut the established bushes in my yard all summer so they look like an uneven mess. But why are we even discussing this when we should be discussing my psychological warfare against Avery?)

Clearly she realizes that she has been defeated. I almost feel sorry for her as she looks down in defeat with a sad little smile painted on her face. She is a great adversary but victory is mine.

(Unless you consider "victory" to be getting an actual good picture of her. In that case, I guess you could say it is a draw.)

And Now, A Message From Our Future President

You know, right after she is finished being a Butterfly Princess.