Friday, July 24, 2009

This Post Is Probably Rated PG-13. Or Just Awkward.

1. Why doesn't anyone else watch Southern Belles Louisville? I think I might be the only one in America. I’m not sure, but so far, in all my polling, no one has admitted to watching it. Which is awkward for me every time I ask someone. I say things like, “oh. Me either. Lame show. SoapNet should just stick to soap re-runs. What? Oh, I don’t watch anything on SoapNet either.” (averts eyes)

2. Anytime you don’t see nipple though my shirt I consider it a good day. Seriously, I have been done nursing for almost 4 months now and those little bastards still keep showing up in every outfit I wear. I think there should be some type of karmic break for someone who sacrificed her body to nurse 2 kids for a total of 2 years.

3. And it is always a surprise, too. I might leave the house looking completely appropriate and then BAM! I hit the ladies room after a meeting and there they are in all their glory. And I realize in horror that they were probably out and about during the meeting, too, which makes me want to crawl under my desk.

4. At some point this has to stop, right? They go back to normal? Someone tell me yes.

5. Also, it may help if I stop wearing nursing bras. It’s just…bras are expensive. I have been wearing nursing bras for 4 years now (throughout my pregnancies and nursing) so they are pretty much all I have. The old ones (that I kept out of sheer naivety) laugh at me each time I open the drawer. “haha! You think you are going to get those expanded ribs into us now, lady? Forget it!” But I leave them there anyway waiting for the day when my body magically returns to its normal size.

6. Somehow I don’t think that happens on its own.

7. Maybe I should find a new gym where I can drop my kids off while I work out.

8. Sure, because I have the type of kids that can just be dropped off anywhere. Maybe Jack but definitely not Avery.

9. Ugh.

10. I have been given the feedback that Jack hasn't gotten the attention he deserves here. Sure, lately Avery has been featured more. But it was her birthday. And she was with her cousins way more than he was so she is in more pictures. Plus, he fell on his little face about 3 minutes after Avery's birthday party started and just bled for the rest of the party so there aren't a ton of pictures of him from that day.

11. But here. A few pictures of him just to get a certain co-worker of mine off my back about it. Plus, I'm hoping that ending with some pictures of Jack will make you forget all about points 2-5.

Jack in the kiddie pool at my parent's house.
He will throw that water-soaked ball at you even if you are still wearing the clothes you wore to work that require dry cleaning. He does not discriminate. Just a fair warning.
And finally here is the poor baby with his messed up nose from Avery's birthday party. It's more of a surface injury than anything but he gets tons of sympathy for it. Just add it to my file, CPS. Add it to my file. (although, technically, someone else was watching him when this happened, so....)

There. Hope those cute pictures took your mind off the boob talk from earlier.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

LOL LOL...I know ur boob trouble ALL toooo well..but luv the pic of jac & bell what was she serinaadying him to?????